Category Archives: Thought work
“Problems aren’t problems, happiness isn’t happiness, worry is nothing to worry about, nothing is nothing, and everything is everything:” my latest favorite game
A Game! Fill in the blank (insert any emotion, state, or situation): “[Blank*] is nothing to [Blank — the same blank as before or some grammatically correct form of Blank] about. [Blank] isn’t [Blank.]. Three ways to win this game: Make yourself … Continue reading
“If I were truly to be myself, I would break my family’s heart.”*
~ Someone I know has been side-railed by the pain of someone they love. Indeed everyone I’ve ever known has at some point frozen up because they didn’t want to hurt someone else. I have too. (Those of you who know me are whispering “understatement…”) It’s because … Continue reading
Respect, prospect, prosper: what do we want?
The opposite of respect Disrespect sometimes unhinges some of us humans. We know that individual narcissists become enraged. And some entire social structures promote disrespect as sufficient reason to physically harm another person (and even to have a long-term feud or beef or grudge … Continue reading
Bluebeard OR Beast? How to tell the difference — and how to dismember the former.
Be it Heidi’s grandfather, Rhett Butler, Clint Eastwood in The Bridges of Madison County, that homely guy at the gym, or — more significantly — our own inner shadow, most of us are seduced by the idea of our love … Continue reading
How To Get Everybody On Your Side
Yes we do need everybody’s approval — especially in order to proceed with something new or scary. We are humans, and humans are social creatures. Back when we were cave people, it was downright dangerous to get excluded by the … Continue reading
How to be a [great] lover
Here are the skills I have been observing in the fantastic lovers I am lucky enough to know: 1. See. Also smell. Touch. Hear. Taste. Open ALL your sensory receptors and receive what streams into you from your beloved…. the light … Continue reading
“I would die for her”
I saw Pastor Joe preach angry maybe twice — once regarding the literal death sentence. The other time he was talking about some anonymous, particularly good mother in our flock. Apparently she was also a heart-tuggingly resigned woman living a … Continue reading
“This might sound pessimistic,” chipper Little Blue chirped, “but it was the giving in and saying why I can’t that helped me get going.” Delving into the negative feels weird to natural optimists, yet Little Blue is right that fine-tuning our understanding of … Continue reading