… And if you don’t love someone, you haven’t seen them (no matter how many times you’ve looked at them). Does these two ideas sound radical and even dangerous?
Try the one-way love experiment
Next time someone is talking to you, watch them. And try seeing them.
Look for what’s essential in their face, voice, gestures, ideas. And then brace yourself. Here’s what happened when Jesus really looked at a rich man who wouldn’t give up his possessions to go to heaven:
“Jesus, seeing him, loved him.”
Yes, you will find yourself falling in love with everyone.
(Here are 350 new faces for you to fall in love with in The Paper Kites’ 3.5 minute video. But it’s mind-blowing to try it with people you already love as well.)
You don’t have to say anything about it to them. Just enjoy the feeling.
You’ll fall in love not only with glorious folks but also with some icky people. And that’s okay and wise as long as you trust your gut. Just because you can see and love someone doesn’t mean you DON’T see the parts of them that are toxic to you, to them, to others. Generally you can see the ick more clearly. It doesn’t mean you sugar-coat the truth or hang around icky people. But maybe now you don’t have to hate those people and in fact are able to send them goodwill — from a safe distance. Why bother? Because it feels good — to you. (If there is indeed power in prayer, intentions, and/or mirror neurons, then your safe-distance-love may help the other person too. But either way, it’s unlikely to hurt them.)
Notice the two-way phenomenon!
Folks who go around seeing and loving others develop a lot of presence. It starts to build up and waft around them. And if two people with habitual seeing and palpable presence look at one another in a moment when they both have their hearts open — ker pow. Mutual love at first sight. (When this happens to happen in the first moment that two people meet, it feels especially magical and so inexplicable.)
Think of the times this has happened to you with a friend, colleague, sweetheart, creative collaborator. Or an animal. Even a plant or a place!
Think of the times you’ve been witness to it happening between others.
It is an ineffable way of beauty. Watch for it. Take a deep whiff. Ah.